My weight issues fall back to a horrible changing room incident I had a couple of years back.
It's all in the past on my old WW blog so won't repeat and to be perfectly honest don't really want to!
So when it came down to planning for my big day, I got into the full swing of things. Apart from one key area. The dress.
I was petrified at the thought of dress hunting. Mirrors, changing rooms, standing in my nick nacks with a complete stranger, wearing these amazingly gorgeous dresses and worried they wouldn't look right.
You know I had visions of myself looking like this:
.
You know when you go out on a night out, you decide on a dress, then you think you're having a fat day? So you resort to hiding behind yourself in jeans and some sort of black 'slimming' attire. Yeh that's me.
You can't make that decision with a wedding dress. You are centre of attention, you want to look stunning. This is why I was so worried when I was going bridal gown shopping back in August last year. I didn't want to be one of those bride's who looked like they were wearing a tent & not much else!
So I even panicked as I was walking up the steps to the bridal shop. It turns out I was panicking over nothing, you should of seen me, surrounded by & in beautiful dresses, 5 mirrors, my mom, 2 bridal shop ladies, another b2b and her family were there too as running late for their fitting. I was loving it!
So I vowed to myself once I ordered MY dress (August) to when it was due into the shop around March I would get to my WW goal & then some. Of course, in LouLouLand that didn't happen. I'm not at goal yet, its now February. I'm not at goal & then some. I am far from it. OK so I think I had just under 1.5st to go back then, and now .5st so not TOO bad. But still, I didn't achieve my target by Xmas like I originally hoped. Life is like that.
Also, the fact my dress was being ordered TWO sizes smaller than the sample one, you thought would of spurred me on. No. You see the dress was that particular designers version of a 14, my measurements were coming in as the size 12, and with that much still left to lose, they ordered me a size 10. These are not high street sizes so cannot compare. This designers size 14 may have been someone else's 18 or another designers 8. You know, it varies. But still, I had some inches to go.
The day before Brum had all that snow, I had THE phone call. To say my dress had arrived. I said I would call back to arrange a suitable date for Mom & I to go in. They had arranged for it come in early so they could double check all the detailing and stitching etc in good time before my official fittings were arranged. They wanted me to come in just to have a look at it myself. I didn't have to try it on, they completely understood as was early, but could if I wanted to. So after the snow hit & then left, we arranged to go in.
In that time I found the measurements from before & what I needed to be to fit in it. Oh dear, why do this to myself. So, I measured myself, I was fine across my chest (unfortunately those lemon squeezies were a bonus now), I was JUST about fine across my waist, but my hips were still an issue, only about 1/2" or so, which doesn't sound a lot. But to fit into a gown maybe so. I didn't want to risk it. So was really considering not trying it on.
I kept umming & ahhing with what to do.
Do I try it on so I know if I have done it?
Do I try it on, find it doesn't fit & completely crumble?
Do I see that I haven't achieved my target?
Do I not try it on and wait until my first official fitting in March?
Do I not try it on & regret it?
Do I try it on & see what I have to work with?
All these questions. Was still asking myself when I was standing in the shop yesterday morning. It was all nicely wrapped up, so I said not to worry, don't unwrap it for sake of a possible try on. She obviously had to unwrap to look at the stitching etc to make sure all was fine. She looked at me, Mom looked at me, I looked at me (don't ask how) I was still unsure.
I thought I have to. It's my dress. It's gorgeous. I have got to face the music at some point, and try it on eventually. It's better to try on now & see what I have to work with over next 4 weeks before official fittings with all the trimmings etc. Rather than waiting till then, and then sorting out what I need to do. A 4 week head start if you will.
I got it on. She started to do it up. She didn't stop. Holy cow, doe's this fit? Yes it does!! OMG!
It fitted perfectly, was slightly too big under one of my arms but that's fine! OMG it fit!!!
You should of seen the smile across my face. Wait you probably did. That moment at about 11.20am yesterday morning when the sky shone that little bit brighter. That was my beaming smile!
I got to admit, my pink & grey penguin socks really made the outfit. It really did.
After the weekend, and now this, I have definitely had enough NSV's to push me into the right direction, get back on that WW wagon for the last time, and sort it out once and for all. I say this all the time, but I think after two years it's easier said than done. But now I have had these last few days, it has definitely kicked me up the backside!
I may not be a Beautiful Bride, I may not be a Next Top Model Bride. I don't care. I am going to be a Slim Bride...
I sure as hell will NOT be a Bulging Bride.